For years I’ve wondered why I struggle and keep changing my mind about whether to continue living in the UK or return to my homeland of Canada. The thought dawns that I have a great attachment to my things, and because my things are here in the UK, it feels more like ‘home’.
This attachment is completely unconscious. I didn’t think I was so attached to possessions, having relinquished so much through so many moves. And yet, earlier today, in a meditation, this came up as the hurdle, the wall, the thing blocking me from moving forward in my future. Somehow, I’ve invested my Self, my personality, my emotions, my Identity, into these mere ‘things’.
So now that I am aware of this, what is the best way to Detach from ‘things’?
Attachment to Things © February 16, 2011 | Annie Zalezsak
It is amazing isn’t it, how we attach to so much stuff and relationships? Perhaps it’s our insecurity, not feeling safe in a world that is ever changing?
I guess as we begin to accept change – completely accept that things never stay the same – then we can live fully, able to ride with whatever is going on around us.
I have found a wonderful way of dissolving away these attachments, freeing us from all fear and resulting actions which I am happy to share with you if you wish?
Thank you, Jacqui. Having watched the ‘Hoarding’ series on tv, and in the course of setting up the Clearitual website, I’ve realized how incredibly personal each person’s relationship is with ‘stuff’. While there are very common underlying issues with hoarding, each person’s route to recovery is so individual.
I’m intrigued by your method of dissolving attachments to stuff. I do believe we can heal in an instant, though I tend to believe only we ourselves can create that instant, and that no one else can do it for us.
Is this technique something I do for myself, or do you do it for me?
Initially it is something we do together, and with very little practice you can then do by yourself enabling you to be the master of your own emotions.
Okay! I look forward to learning more when I see you next week! Thanks! x
Things put you in a comfort zone, especially ones that you have especially chosen to make a home for yourself. You attach a memory to when you bought something and surrounding yourself with things that you like make you feel secure. The trick is to feel secure enough in yourself that you do not need things to make you feel this way. One of the ways of doing this is by meditation and building a network of friends to support you on your journey of self discovery. It is all about peace of mind. You need to feel happy with yourself.
Thank you for your comment, Jacqueline. I understand what you are saying and I think for me, I feel greater security when I have Less stuff! Greater freedom, more happiness, less restriction, more potential, more ‘me’.
I think for me, the attachment is also about feeling Responsible for my stuff. Making sure it is re-homed (or gotten rid of) so it doesn’t become a burden for someone else. Any thoughts on that perspective?
I understand how you feel now and I find it refreshing to hear someone say that they feel greater security with less stuff. People usually put so much importance on possessions and find it hard to let them go.
Good luck in your detachment from your things, so that you may move on with ease if you do choose to move to Canada. I also wondered why that this is so now, when you have already moved so many times in the past without a problem. Is it because you feel that this will be your final move?
I can understand how you feel about feeling responsible for your stuff, and I also understand why you would feel that your stuff would be a burden to somebody else, but only if you were to leave it there for someone else to sort out. It is like if your parents die and you feel like you cannot get rid of anything of theirs, even though you do not need any of it really. You feel like you are being disrespectful, especially if you know that their possessions were so important to them.
Regarding your point about feeling disrespectful getting rid of things your parents owned, definitely. It is a hard thing to do, having been through it. And I wouldn’t want to leave that kind of decision-making to anyone. Perhaps this is partly why I feel anxious having too much stuff. No one is ever going to love it as much as I do. I suppose it shouldn’t matter what happens to our stuff when we’re gone. So, why does it?!
I’m highly sensitive to the energy that objects hold, and I do feel our energy goes into them. So it is all quite a tangled concept, really! It doesn’t have to be. I suppose it just goes to show how our thoughts about anything can get entangled with ‘reality’.
On the flip side, having ‘started from scratch’ so many times, being at a fair age now with ‘nothing to show for it’ (any substantial possessions), there is a reluctance to detach from what I do have.
A bizarre dichotomy!